Friday, July 22, 2011

Sometimes, crazy

Elissa dress by Tina Mak
I am planning two weddings. That's right. You read: two weddings.

If I had been smart...oh, if only I had been smart!...I would have planned one wedding and donned the beautiful maternity dress above.

But no. I am having a small, private courthouse wedding in a week. Then, at a date unknown, some larger crazier function with all of my family and friends. Both events will be amazing and awesome.

I just feel silly. Indulgent. Stressed. Crazy.

More of those lovely maternity dresses can be found at Tina Mak's site.

If I could do it all over, I would plan one large wedding no matter how pregnant I was!

Friday, July 8, 2011

Kitty boy

Skippyjon Jones (1st book) by Judy Schachner
I have loved this book since its publication in 2003. I picked up a copy while working at the toy store. Now I read it to baby and sometimes also my own kitties, Percy and Marie.

It's one of the most fun, sometimes challenging, read aloud books to read to children. In 2004 it won the first annual E.B. White Read Aloud Award.

I've read this book to kids as young as 3 and as old as 10. They all crack up, especially when the reader has difficulty with Skippy's language! He thinks he is a Spanish-speaking Chihuahua, but he has no Spanish speaking skills. He transforms his language using his imagination. This causes tongue twisters similar to my other favorite author, Dr. Seuss

My own kitty boy, Percy, in his dream world as he wraps himself in Christmas paper

Friday, July 1, 2011

Second Trimester Euphoria

As I wallowed in my pregnancy sickness during the first trimester, my baby was growing normally (as far as I knew) and parasitically in my womb. Yet, I couldn't see beyond the fog.

Until two wonderful things happened.

Panda and I went for our second trimester ultrasound and were able to see all of our baby's wonderful body parts. We also learned the gender - it's a boy! Seeing him larger than a lentil, well-developed, and very active relieved me like nothing else could.

I was able to attach personality to him. Calling the baby "him" instead of as "it" or "baby" was the first best change. Additionally, we could talk about names more specifically. I could start planning his room and books for his bookshelf!

The ultrasound changed me in many ways, but it was also a mommy friend (sadly, long-distance) who gave me perspective that allowed me to start to really enjoy and savor this pregnancy. She wrote to ask if I was experiencing second trimester euphoria yet?

I was still sick and starting to feel more uncomfortable at night, losing the ability to sleep in my favorite position, on my back. So, I asked her what this imaginary euphoria was?

She replied: I know this sounds counter-intuitive, but enjoy the pregnancy. I know you are tired as it is, and I don't mean to scare you, but the first six months after the baby are born are really hard!

Coupled with my good feelings post-ultrasound, I let her words sink into me. I realized that this was the last time ever in my life that I would be simply me. From now until my last breath, I will be a mother, a title that brings both joy and fear, expectation and doubt, responsibility and gravity.

After baby I would have to share Panda's attention with that of our child, too.

While I was ready for this change, and even more convinced that we would be a good family, I needed to enjoy this time. The me time, the two of us time, the before time.